The Onion http://www.theonion.com/index.shtml (powered by http://www.polare.com/news/) en http://www.polare.com/news/ http://www.polare.com/news/HPE/Images/button.gif Powered by Polare News 80 15 Area Man Honored To Have Name In Hat http://www.polare.com/news/click/-3,4072291/ ST. CLOUD, MN—Rotary Club banquet attendee Phil Tipton, 46, told reporters Monday that he was "humbled" to have his name included in the... Obama Dogged By 'Bitter' Remarks http://www.polare.com/news/click/-3,4072292/ Barack Obama continues to be criticized after telling a San Francisco crowd that people in economically depressed towns were bitter about government... That Professor Lasky From Saved By The Bell: The College Years Was A Real Jerk http://www.polare.com/news/click/-3,4072293/ Let me begin by saying that I'm not one to start trouble or talk bad about someone behind their back. But I've been thinking about this a lot... Shark! http://www.polare.com/news/click/-3,4072294/ As the weather warms up, a lot more people will be making their way to this beautiful... [audio] Giant Greenhouse Built Over Nation Blamed For Climate Change http://www.polare.com/news/click/-3,4072295/ Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland Oprah Launches Own Reality http://www.polare.com/news/click/-3,4072296/ CHICAGO—"Oprah was always the queen of her time slot, and now she is the queen of Time," said Winfrey's publicist on day one of "Year O" in the new reality. [audio] If There's A Ferret Heaven, Area Woman's Dead Ferret Is In it http://www.polare.com/news/click/-2,4068915/ Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland One in Five Scientists Use Brain Enhancing Drugs http://www.polare.com/news/click/-2,4068916/ One in five respondents to a poll conducted by the journal Nature said they had used drugs to boost their brain power. What do you ... Mass E-Mail Only Has Four Recipients http://www.polare.com/news/click/-3,4072297/ TALLAHASSEE, FL—A self-described mass e-mail containing the subject line "URGENT: Please help!" was sent from Jerrod32@gmail.com to only four... Bed Found In Fundamentalist Temple http://www.polare.com/news/click/-1,4065570/ Authorities searching a temple in the Texas compound of the Fundamentalist Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints found a bed they believe was... Southwest Airlines Now Taking Passengers To Destinations By Shuttle Bus http://www.polare.com/news/click/-1,4065571/ DALLAS—On-time departures, cushioned plastic seats and easy-to-hold metal poles will present a level of comfort never before experienced on Southwest flights.